Update of blog posting is 5/8/2020. This is a journal of my journey through the last couple of months of Coronavirus Quarantine which hit my household really hard, with a huge hospital bill, lost wages, lost clients, and lost opportunity. Yet hey! I’m still alive to tell the tale. My chest still aches, and the cough lingers, though it doesn’t hurt to breathe anymore, it hurts to talk too much but I’m finally able to be teaching and do what I love again. Here’s my experience interspersed with the lessons I learned.
A personal perspective on the Coronavirus
March 16th, 2020
When something hits me close to home, I am designed to share my experiences to help empower and advise when things do not work. My job for others is to universalize what’s practical through empowering a new direction through my living example of walking the path and sharing how I feel along the journey. It’s part of how I experience being a Cross of Contagion – an innocent Instrument of Fate who can step in and change the fate of others through learning, experience and discovery.
For the science-minded people, this is helpful to know – up to the minute data on our current coronavirus crisis.
Ra said our global human immune system is failing. As a 3/5 myself who has experienced the pain of things being broken, I have practical information to share with you so that hopefully, we can be more prepared and take this seriously.
On Mondays, I teach my Living Your Projector Design Success Secrets series. As a public service, I co-created a special presentation with a fellow professional Fran Hale on the Splenic Center, our bodygraph’s function for health, safety, security, physical awareness, and well-being. Here is the recording.
Remember to use your Authority to navigate this crisis. Because this COVID-19 is not something to sneeze at.
Unfortunately, I’ve been sneezing and it sucks. It is rare to have a cold or flu make it so you cannot breathe. With this virus: it’s common. That is potentially life-threatening and this is very serious for certain populations.
My husband has not been sick enough to go to the doctor for 15 years, because he is obsessed with health, eats a diet that is appropriate to keep himself strong, lean and fit, never touches sugars, alcohol or drugs, and takes immunity boosters. It was shocking to me to see him in a crisis of being unable to breathe, with crushing chest pain, asking me to take him to the hospital. We thought he was dying; I have never seen him in so much pain, and he has a high pain tolerance.
Even though he might have been exposed due to travel to California and travelers here from overseas, they didn’t test him for the virus because they couldn’t.
Again, the most important thing I advise is to self-quarantine. Unless you’re in an emergency medical situation like my husband was a few days ago, because you can’t breathe.
My daughter fell feverishly-ill at the beginning of March, (later addition: I thought this was a relapse, I found out later that the new Montessori school I’d put her in Sedona had children in China in January so likely that’s where she got it) relapsing from whatever she had in San Diego where they didn’t test her, only gave her antibiotic eye drops. I have been fighting whatever it is without being able to teach since the 17th. Never had a flu fever with a dry cough without a resulting runny nose before.
I share this because people need to know, our nurse strongly advised having enough emergency food on hand to last our family for two months.
I was shocked. I asked her why. The things I’d read said two weeks. She said China is in its third month of this.
Nobody is experienced with this new strain. Avoidance is our best chance at slowing this down so we don’t overwhelm our doctors. There’s still no treatment other than ride it out.
***If you feel you cannot breathe: Go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY***
Because we live in an affluent retirement and vacation area where people have money to prepare: our stores got quickly near wiped out of certain things. Meats. Paper goods. Canned goods. Dry goods. Frozen food. Everyone stocked up… and now imagine even a handful of people rushed to the hospital because they cannot breathe.
I did that with my husband. We live in a beautiful community where the median age is 58, approximately 57% higher than the Arizona average of 37. Millions of tourists flock here yearly from around the world. Yet West Sedona is such a tiny town we have one ER with 2 beds, and the other one, when we went in, was already taken. How many ventilators are going to be available? Not nearly enough if we don’t stop spreading it!
People have a right to know that just because there are little to no reported cases does not mean we don’t have exposure. We need to be as safe as we can.
And though my husband does everything possible for his health, things the average population doesn’t, he got sick and developed bilateral pneumonia. He’s still weak but doing better now; so is my daughter. I thank my lucky stars I’m still breathing easily, and that my students understand when I had to postpone a class yesterday to rest.
I calmly advise everyone to please take this seriously. Please be responsible and do everything possible to help us be safer.
(from an email to my students and clients)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: March 23, 2020
My husband Ohryn is recovering well after an emergency hospital visit on March 13th for sudden crushing chest pains. After all kinds of scans and tests (they were unable to test for coronavirus) he was diagnosed with the development of bilateral pneumonia. In talking over the phone with our Doctor, she says in her professional opinion it is definitely Coronavirus.
Three weeks later, I’ve had to cancel all of my classes and sessions my fight to heal.
Here is the chart for when the Coronavirus first began.
See the Splenic Center (brown triangle) connected to the Heart (small red triangle? That’s the Channel of Surrender, a design of a Transmitter. It is a channel that is birds, reptiles, and fish have (trans-species between us and them).
Ohryn and I have the 44-26 together (my cool 44’s .2 & .5 in both Uranus and his hot 26 in Personality Earth in the 5th line). The air here in Sedona is very dry, which makes our lungs more susceptible to the coronavirus.
We have been isolating at home with our family since my husband was in the hospital – my symptoms suddenly got worse a week later, Thursday morning due to chest pains and shortness of breath. I cried in pain every day except this morning and have been resting and sleeping a lot.
At JovianArchive, we put out a lot of helpful information this week to help everyone understand what is going on from a Human Design Perspective. I’m sharing the videos and links to Ra’s take on the Bird Flu epidemic and videos that are normally for sale on the site.
Don’t miss the audio/transcription where Ra is talking about the 44-26 and its relationship to trans-special diseases. No time to read/listen? Read on:
Attention all 4th line profiles and any Gate 44’s especially, a heads up, even if you feel healthy please use your Authority and pay special attention….
You are highly likely to transmit the disease if you have it; you are designed to be carriers to your network. It takes 5-6 days for the symptoms to develop after you’ve been infected, by then you could have gotten many people sick, which floods our hospitals with people who need to be helped and overwhelms the system, increasing the likelihood that people will die unnecessarily.
Remember to use your Authority to navigate this crisis.
I noticed that the age group most likely to die are those who were born in 1935. So I created a chart to see what gate Pluto was in then. Gate 62, which is in Opposition to the 61, where we have had Pluto sitting lately along with Jupiter and Saturn.
Being that the average Pluto Opposition is 130 years, it is very rare for someone to live past that cycle. Pluto has been moving very fast lately as it is on a big elliptical orbit as compared to other planets, so the Gate 62 Pluto generation is experiencing their Plutonic Opposition and it makes sense that many would leave this plane in the last transformation of the form – death.
My message to everyone is: please follow your Authority and if correct, stay home to help flatten the curve as millions of lives are at stake. ISOLATE unless you are having trouble breathing like my husband was. I have never seen him in so much pain, and he is a very strong and normally healthy person. Our men are more likely to die from this; it has been theorized the gender difference in death percentages is because they are more likely to smoke, so smokers please take note to be extra careful.
In Human Design, we have something called Primary Health System (PHS link to an article that helps explain what that is). I hope my personal experience and perspective shared with these Ra materials help you understand how very serious this can be.
(from an email to my students and clients)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: March 27, 2020
I have been fighting this illness with everything I can think of, but I developed pneumonia this week. Sleeping ALOT, the malaise is really bad. I thought I was getting better but the fever came back today. Someone gave me a video from Martin Grassinger and he said to eat egg yolks and bovine colostrum. I have been drawn to the yolks a lot lately and I added colostrum in. Staying away from EMFs as much as possible since I have a Right Brain Variable.
(reply to a text from a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: March 29, 2020
My acupuncturist is positive we have coronavirus. She is sick and in quarantine too and treating us remotely. We have 5 confirmed cases in our little valley
(reply to a text from a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 2nd, 2020
I have cried twice this morning, in so much chest pain. The headache is massive. My brain is not thinking clearly and when I try to talk I’m not using the right words. I’m doing my best not to panic, so scared, and really bummed out. We just got my husband’s hospital bill and I’m doing my best to stay out of there.
I’ve taken so much vitamin C my kidneys hurt. I have fever, delirium, and chills again today. It feels like my chest and back have slices in it.
(reply to a text from a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 4th, 2020
My husband says from his pattern of the illness it looks like I’m getting better because I’m coughing more, which is very painful, rattles the chest so hard yet brings up nothing. I still get winded getting out of bed. The headache from lack of oxygen is near-constant, the lymph nodes are swollen but I haven’t had a Fever in the last two days. Last week I had some pretty bad kidney pains (I was hospitalized for several days with Nephritis in 2011 and they told me my kidneys would never be the same because of it) but thankfully that pain is gone now.
I feel very touched and moved to have all of your support and understanding. I got so very scared last week, crying a lot especially when my defined Splenic husband was not around. Yesterday I contemplated going to the hospital a few towns away to get tested because they still can’t here but I’m not having a hard time breathing where I’m needing that kind of help and I don’t want to pass this on. I don’t wish this kind of pain on anyone. I’m crying in gratitude now. Thank You
(message to my Cartography class)
*The availability of tests has been a problem throughout the course of the pandemic in Arizona. People with symptoms have consistently complained that they are unable to get tested, and the number of positive cases in the state is likely an undercount for that reason.
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 7, 2020
I’m at the coughing up blood stage today. 🙁 Still not expectorating any mucus from my lungs. My right lung pain is worse, but I’m not fevered with chills for the second day in a row now. My husband says I’m getting better because he also went through the deep coughing before he got better. I’m whining more about the pain instead of crying or just sleeping/laying listlessly.
It’s horrific not being able to do anything. The coughing is so bad now it sounds like I should be in the hospital, but I don’t want to get others sick unless it is life-threatening and so far I can still breathe. The lungs burn though.
(reply to a text from a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 9th, 2020
First some Inspiration, then some Contagion (my Cross) of what is most empowering and practical as I’ve discovered something that definitely doesn’t work, which you’ll really want to know in these coming days. You are more likely to develop pneumonia when you do get this illness if you do not heed my warning of what does not work.
Ah, Contagion. The word may bring up fearful images or scary feelings as our world battles with COVID-19.
January 19: 100 cases
January 24: 1,000 cases
February 12: 50,000 cases
March 6: 100,000 cases (my daughter and husband fell sick)
March 18: 200,000 cases (here’s where I succumbed)
March 26: 500,000 cases
April 2: 1,000,000 cases
April 8: 1,500,000 cases
I know this despair personally, the fear and pain of this illness, and the “inconvenience” of being sick dragging on into weeks without teaching my beloved Human Design students.
Three weeks ago, the chest pains and shortness of breath began, so suddenly, I missed conducting a coaching session. The fever and chills raged, then came off and on. It felt like sharp knives were lodged in my chest.
Breathing was so painful right up until today, where now, it’s the coughing that really, really, REALLY hurts. This cough is deep and more painful than I’ve ever experienced (and I had pneumonia as a teen). On Monday, I could taste and smell the blood when I’d cough, but it’s still unproductive. Thankfully, no fever today, hence being able to write to you. I still can’t talk long enough without coughing to teach.
When you are ill, you can increase your suffering significantly by railing against what is, and by getting mentally depressed by failing to change what is.
OR, you can look around and see yourself and your life from a new perspective. What is the most important thing?
My mind tried to tell me it was teaching. “I have to warn everyone and help others as soon as possible.” Ha! And my husband, my team, my students, kindly kept inviting me to rest, with my body having the final say. Hey Gate 27, care for yourself first! 😉
Impatience with my illness, “I don’t have time to be sick!” had to transform into patience. I had no choice. We can turn this impatience weakness into strength, the strength to accept what is. Teaching the acceptance of what is, is my Dharma. Leading you to be successful in the paradox of accepting the Fates while changing your Fate is part of my life’s work as a Cross of Contagion.
The awakening of our consciousness through a realignment to the real resonance of our being is at hand.
When you are sick, can you feel that your body is providing a valuable learning experience?
Can you sense it delivering the messages of these symptoms that, as a global pandemic, can put us in touch with the greater whole of our human existence?
This direction we are going in is a terrifying Shock. The end of humanity as we know it is shocking, as our bodies break down, mutate, and transform to prepare for something new to emerge from our specie.
The grief is palpable, can you feel it?
As my body was wracked with fever, I could feel in the morphogenetic connection we all have, that deep panic and the fear. It was so, so scary. My mind raced with what-ifs and anytime my 5/1 Projector husband was not around, I was miserable without his defined splenic comfort and jokes to help me see and know the lighter side of things.
The transits right now bring fear of tomorrow which can ground our shock and help us mutate.
Is it right for you to transform the shock into courage?
Our bodies instinctively adapt on our path of awakening, rooted in fear of what tomorrow will bring, which leads us to listen to our bodies to know what to do.
Pluto and Jupiter are conjunct in 61.5, deeply transforming us from within, teaching us to know our own personal, inner Truth, bringing messages of individuality and empowerment we can no longer ignore.
Despair can turn into strength, resistance can transform into success. The crisis of this illness has become the vehicle for profound worldwide transformation and deep healing from within our own bodies, which survive or make the ultimate transformation of death.
The body of Mother Earth is experiencing a virus that kills the weak and has stilled our population enough to begin healing herself.
When you are correct, you get the illness you need for your personal transformation. These last few weeks, though painful, have been a profound reset for me, as I had to let go of control and surrender to the body’s deep need for personal downtime and spaciousness to just space.
My need to share with you about what I’ve learned living under this Coronavirus pandemic has overcome my body’s aversion to being around electronics. The fears, the pain, the helplessness has finally lifted enough for me to write and make a video to quickly share what is most practical.
I highly recommend a simple breathing technique I wish someone had told us weeks ago. It might have saved my husband and me weeks of being sick and a huge hospital bill due to pneumonia.
As I’m designed to, I learned something the hard way, and have to explain in my own emotional way. But if you skipped all that and are looking for the gem, please pay attention now: If you’re being struck hard by the virus like we are, here’s the most practical advice I can give you:
***DO NOT LAY ONLY ON YOUR BACK.***
See video below for a doctor’s explanation.
My mind keeps planning on being able to work the next day I wake up. And I watched as the headache from lack of oxygen hits me, or the coughing grips me in so much pain that I cry, I laugh inside at the ridiculousness of believing my mind’s story.
Oh yeah, and that most important thing? For me, it’s Loving What Is, this movie of Life. Thank you for Being along on this journey to share with, my dear friends in Human Design.
With so much appreciation and Love,
(from a FB post to my friends)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 18, 2020
Hey my dear friends, the good news is I’m finally starting to feel better instead of worse. I’m still coughing to where teaching is probably not a good idea as stuff just started to come out of my chest this morning, yuck! The super deep lung vibrating and horribly painful coughing is subsiding, thank goodness. The fever and chills are gone for several days, hopefully for good. What felt like knives in my lungs are dull and aching now instead of sharp and hot, and although I’m still bedridden, for the most part I can get to the bathroom without exhaustion. Headache comes and goes instead of constant. Kidney pains still coming and going. Talking and Laughing makes me cough but at least I can now and the malaise is subsided, yay!
I hope everyone is staying safe and well.
(from a message to my Cartography students)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 21, 2020
I have been getting up on my feet finally, there are better and worse days where I can’t do much. Because when I try to do things I get worse. After teaching in bed Sunday the 18th which was hard with the constant pressure, I had a really bad day of recovering and more coughing than usual, probably because all that talking pressure loosened stuff in my chest, and the pain has spread to different areas I hadn’t felt before, still makes me cry but not every day. The fatigue is so bad I use a wheeled cart to lean on like an old lady and get around slowly when really weak. Any normal exertion brings on the shortness of breath and headaches, but they are not constant and way less thank goodness! I’m so very glad I was finally able to start teaching again for the BG5 Business Institute after a month of being sick.
(from an email reply to a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 25, 2020
Today I’m happy to say it is the first day I don’t have any new terrible sharp knives in my chest, I just feel general pressure, dull and achy and I can finally talk without too much pain or uncontrollable coughing. I really feel I’m finally getting better, thank goodness! OMG, it was SO scary. My mind really thought I might die at a few points, the struggle to survive caused no energy, then physical and mental depression. My body cried so much, but the last time was Thursday, and it was minor compared to the week before. I haven’t had the capacity to do much of anything but self-care with help. I’m so happy to have gotten to the place where I want to do stuff! I am doing my best to be patient and go easy when my mind says go. I have finally the energy to do more than just lay there breathing and wishing to be better, yay!
(from an email reply to a friend)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 27, 2020
(I did my best to deliver this Projector Success Secrets presentation where shared some of the most important aspects to understand about our body’s Survival Awareness. Anytime you see my hand on my chest is because it hurt!)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: April 28, 2020
(was able to participate in the BG5 Live episode where I shared some of the most important things I learned about how to cope with this experience)
My Coronavirus Experience Update: May 2, 2020
I’m publishing this blog entry in totality today, it’s the first since January. I went through so much – my ex-husband was in the hospital, my daughter moved in with us, and we all got sick, my husband was in the hospital, I almost had a lease on an office space in West Sedona, but that fell through because of the coronavirus closures too.
The most interesting thing to me as a Human Design Professional would be to share with you a note on my Human Design Experiment with PHS aka Primary Health System: I am a “cold thirst” Determination person. I’ve experimented with eating and drinking cold since Jan 2013. This virus makes me HATE the cold. So I’ve been using hot water bottles, the sun, hot crystal mats, hot liquids outside AND in – not piping hot, but warm to my chest, which is the only thing that soothed the intense pain. My thinking had gotten fuzzy and the wrong words came out of my mouth when it was really bad. I don’t know if its the virus causing the confusion or my cognition is affected because of me deviating from my PHS.
However, I also notice there’s been a transformation of awareness in me. Is it the removal of psychological blocks because Pluto in Gate 61 that has been going back and forth over my Natal Moon since Jan of last year? Was it the coronavirus experience I had? Whatever the case may be, I feel much more compassionate, humble, generous and at ease with accepting life as it is. Perhaps because, when faced with such deeply profound helplessness of the body, when it was the most painful, I could so clearly see/feel/experience that surrender to the form is the only option, no matter what the mind thought it could, couldn’t or wanted to do. I could see how someday I would want to pass away from the form, have the body let go of me so that it could take its final rest. The moment of breathing, that aching sigh of breath, be it in relief or pain, had to be trusted, embraced, and loved, for exactly what it was.
Remember to love yourself, first.