How do we Decondition a lifetime of behavioral patterns?
Psychological unrest manifests through so many of us in our hurried, western societies as loneliness, not feeing appreciated or loved, stress, anxiety and can lead to the weakening of our physical body. “Most diseases have psychological causes and all lasting diseases have psychological effects.” Dr. David Frawley
As we slumber in the thrall of our mind’s illusions, deconditioning is an important step to “waking up.” Contrary to popular belief in an instant enlightenment, waking up is more often a slow, deep, sometimes painful process (to the shadow state of our mis-identification with conditioned mind’s sense of self).
I know that as a Solar Plexus Authority―as a deeply emotional being―my awareness expands and contracts, spiraling and evolving the further and further I surrender to living my design. With time―I am now in my 7th year―I have found this “Human Design Life” wonderfully en-lightening; both in the physical and spiritual sense. My health, vitality and well-being are dramatically improved from 10 years ago.
It takes time to cultivate an awareness of the mental patterns in our lives that we are mis-identified with. Adaptive strategies of our minds that we commonly describe as “Not-Self” require experiential knowledge. When we enter into a study of the Human Design System, we are re-educating ourselves on the nature of Being.
We are learning to make decisions from our form instead of our conditioned behavioral patterns. We are supported in how to identify and see the deeply entrenched illusions our minds have developed in the openness in our charts. Rooted in the “Maia” or illusions our mind creates, these adaptive strategies and behaviors are an attempt from mind to resist and control our lives in an attempt to fix or avoid, protect or resist the painful experiences we keep having when we make decisions from places that are not consistent, reliable or dependable within us.
The encounters we have in these sensitive areas where we are vulnerable to conditioning can be quite challenging – and when experienced without attachment, when experienced without identification, these open places become areas of immense wisdom for others to source from.
Our conscious minds don’t have a choice as to when and how we wake up to our true nature, or what that nature is, as it was given to us at birth. Everyone has timing of events and cycles of their lives that were destined from birth. These cycles of learning, experience and discoveries that move us through developmental stages can bring us further along the path of growth that leads us to the fulfillment of our personal destiny, our fixed fate, or our transpersonal karma, whichever life trajectory we happen to be on.
The good news is, there are simple signposts that can tell us that we are on the right track – like the sweetness of success, the satisfaction of following our passions, the peace of innovating and impacting, the delight and surprise in life’s journey.
Here are twenty clear signs you’re waking up to living authentically and are on the path of finding true fulfillment in living this life as yourself.
Which ones apply to you?
#1. You stop comparing yourself to others
When you recognize that you are utterly individual and beyond compare, you rest in self-love, celebrating your uniqueness. Learn to take each situation as it comes, knowing you are doing the best you can with what you’ve got. Watch how it becomes easier to ignore the nagging of your conditioned mind berating you for not being as good as anyone else.
#2. You stop trying to change yourself to suit others
When you recognize that you’ve stopped trying to change yourself to please someone else, based on what your mind interprets about what they say or think you should be. You know that feeling deep down that it is not only okay to be who you are, in fact, you can’t help but be who you are, adaptive behaviors and all. Surrendering to what is and the joy of the continual unfoldment of your process is part of the journey. There is no perfect, there is continual evolution.
#3. You stop trying so hard to fit in, be popular or well-liked
You notice that you no longer care so much about what other people think of you, you stop worrying so much about trying hard to be liked, fit in, or “be somebody”. Perhaps you can even laugh about what your own mind thinks about you, recognizing it’s perspective is skewed to only one-third of the picture!
#4 You stop trying to answer everybody else’s questions without invitation
You notice that the obsession with finding the answer to your conditioned mind’s questions, or others questions, can just be let go of―trying to make sense of your own confusion and doubts relaxes too. You may also find that your life, learning and mother nature become your main source of inspiration instead of mainstream media, which tends to pressurize instead of energize.
#5 You stop trying to convince everyone that you are certain
You notice that your internal state takes on a sense of groundedness, in that you’ve stopped trying so hard to figure everything out. You can breath easy when there’s a question that challenges you, because it’s no longer a big deal to say “I don’t know.” You no longer feel like you have to know all the answers in order to get rid of the chaos in your mind or your life. You don’t hide your ideas or opinions because you don’t fear being challenged or being considered weird or strange, but you don’t give them unless you are invited to do so.
#6 You stop trying so hard to attract attention
You are comfortable with silence and non-doing. You notice that you no longer make the decision to go places where you can get attention, or do things just to get noticed. You don’t initiate conversations just because silence makes you uncomfortable. You no longer fret about not being able to manifest things – you trust that manifestation happens as part of the program and that you don’t have to TRY so hard to make anything happen.
#7 You stop looking for love or questioning the direction of your life in the lives of others
You feel comfortable in your own skin, and notice you no longer agonize over wondering who you are, where you should go, who you should love or who is going to love you. You don’t constantly worry about what you are going to do with your life or try to figure out where you should go. In fact, the word “should” slowly drops from your vocabulary when followed by the words “I” or “You”.
#8 You cease trying to prove yourself, to anyone, including yourself
Because you are comfortable with your own sense of value and self-worth without external validation, you rest in a state of being humble and confident without a need to seek accolades. You notice that you are no longer saying or doing things to try and prove that you are worthy, smart, accomplished, wealthy, pretty, strong, or sexy enough. Rather than trying to improve yourself constantly, you have an inherent feeling of self-worth and do things that make you happy, no longer subjugating your own needs. There is no stressing over the need to work hard at proving your value, for you know you are perfect, just as you are, evolving with divine timing.
#9 You know when to quit (enough is enough, already!) before you burn-out and crash in exhaustion
You notice that you follow your body rather than pushing it beyond it’s limits out of anxiety, fear, stress or any kind of pressure, as you develop a sensitivity to knowing when to quit working, knowing when to say no, when to delegate, when to create boundaries, and when to let others take care of things themselves as the rule rather than the exception. Instead of experiencing the frustration of misused energy or exhaustion from overcommitting your energy, the physical sense of satisfaction with life as it is, is the dominant frequency in your life.
#10 You stop holding on to what (and who) isn’t good for you
You notice that you become more comfortable alone, feeling safe and secure without dependency or co-dependency. You aren’t afraid to let go of things that aren’t good for you, or move forward because of the possibility of failure or lack of depth, purpose or fear or the future, and you aren’t afraid of authority, secure in being your own.
#11 You stop always avoiding confrontation and truth
You’ve stopped leading a secret life hidden from others out of shame, guilt or regret. You notice that you are no longer afraid to upset someone if it means speaking up for yourself and your feelings when it’s correct for you to do so. You don’t fake smiles or try not to rock the boat or avoid hurting people’s feelings if you need to stand up for your needs. Maybe you even go where the pain is without fearing rejection because you know that living a life of lies is no way to live at all. When the emotional pain arises you allow it to move through you and don’t run away from the experience; you breathe and feel, breathe and allow. You know that feeling it heals it.
#12 You cease urgently hurrying mindlessly to get everything done quickly
You notice that you are no longer rushing through things you enjoy, hurrying just to be free of the pressure. You’ve stopped initiating new experiences without proper timing or using your authority. You quit agonizing over how to get over limitations, what you should be passionate about, focus on, start or finish. You let go of trying to start new things until you can move forward in joy. Like the Druids of old, you trust that do without doing and the doing gets done―in right timing.
#13 You’ve begun to get a sense of and understand your uniqueness
You notice as time goes on, that something inside of you has opened up and relaxed. Being makes far more sense than doing, and breathing and simply observing is a pleasure. Being yourself takes precedence, above all else. You see that aligned Doing arises out of stillness and joy, as a divine Being.
#14. You enjoy watching the movie of your life
You notice that as the layers and layers of conditioning dissipate, the person you were always meant to be breathes in the breath of awareness and awakens to life. You are absorbed fully in the process of living, watching the storyline as your play your part on the grand stage of life..
#15. The way you make decisions changes
You notice that you feel more and more comfortable just being yourself around people who “get” you―there seem to be more of them nowadays! Where before you may have given your authority to others or tried to have authority over others, you now respect yourself and others too much for that to happen ever again. You would never dream of making a decision that wasn’t in alignment with your true nature―and when it happens, you laugh at the lesson and share what you learned when correct for you for others on your fractal to learn from too..
#16 You are present, aware, and open to life
You notice you get a lot of compliments in recognition of who you really are. The way your cells function in your body have renewed and are pulsing in alignment with your true nature, resonating with a frequency that allows your body to live its life without resistance. There’s a light inside you now that was always there, no longer dimmed by the suffering and pain of reality, but fed by the joy of living life to the fullest, in every moment and every breath that you take.
#17 Your body feels more vital and alive than you ever have no matter your age
You are drawn to the correct intake of nourishment in the manner that is most beneficial to your body. You are drawn the correct places that nourish your being, furthering the process of deconditioning and differentiating into the unique perfection that you are. You get complements on your glowingness as that light burns brighter with your fire of purpose, and people are drawn to you―both the light and the dark.
#18 You find yourself completely surrendering to your life’s process
You cease believing everything your mind says about yourself, and can laugh at it’s silliness. When it’s scared, you might even talk to it out loud to reassure it’s fears. You instead accept that if you can get your own head out of the way, your body does the right thing with the correct timing. You trust that life brings you what you need, and it’s all okay.
#19 You watch yourself loving and nurturing your whole being
You notice that you now trust in your own process and life, knowing that it will take care of you. Trust becomes the frequency you radiate, knowing that manifestation energy flows through you in partnership with the right timing and the right other, without your mind having to control or manipulate anything or anyone. “FOMO” disappears
#20 You know it is never too early or too late to begin living as yourself
You also notice that it is natural to support others without an agenda when it’s correct for you to do so. You remember to take care of yourself first so as to be able to have the energy and resources to help others as yourself. You recognize the gift of being yourself is the biggest gift you can give the world.
Can you relate to any of these signposts above? Some of us will, some of us won’t. Perhaps you just get flashes of signs, here and there. If you don’t yet feel more often fulfilled than not, not to worry. There are many reasons for life’s struggles. Breathe and Be, you already are who you were meant to be―the distortion of dissatisfaction with what is, is a conditioned mindset that slowly fades as you experiment with Living Your Human Design according to Strategy and Authority.
Do you want to dive deeper into this tool that can help inform your awakening, help you to differentiate and be the person you were born to be?
There’s a way to facilitate the deconditioning process. It’s called BEING YOURSELF, and until relatively recently, there wasn’t a clear, comprehensive map to know how to do that.
Are you ready to really get to “Know Thyself”―paying no attention to the opinion of others about your choices, and making decisions that are correct and according to your authentic nature?
The Human Design System is a powerful tool that informs your awakening process. Millions of people use their Human Design Strategy and Authority to achieve levels of awareness and fulfillment that they never thought possible in all areas of life. Would you like to investigate further and discover your treasures that lie buried under layers and layers of conditioning?
You’ll be glad you did. After all, what do you have to lose? A life of conditioned behavioral patterns, misunderstandings and unnecessary suffering? Imagine instead, your life lived with joy, filled with truth, authenticity, vitality and fulfillment. A life of meaning that fulfills your highest purpose in this life. The pleasure of satisfaction, success, peace and surprise in what life has to offer you and us all awaits!
My hope for you is to discover the fulfillment of seeing what it’s like to live life as the magnificently unique being that you are designed to be.
Isn’t it time you woke up to your authentic nature and lived the life you truly were born to enjoy?
We’d like to invite you to begin your Human Design Journey. The first step is awakening to yourself. As a Living Your Design Guide Trainer, I am trained to guide you through this process in a Living Your Design Awakening Program, joined by fellow professionals and professional students to regularly commune with you in these group experiences. This is a practical, yet spiritual awakening. Would you like to join us and discover yourself?
Written for JovianArchive.com under the name Andrea Abay-Abay in 2015, updated and republished with permission.